Friday, May 3, 2013

Nothing shall ever be set in stone

Definitions and words
So much I read in this blog world of autism is a bout wording and words and definitions
as if no one gets that words are fluid and so are thoughts.
with autism
autistic I laughed out loud when I read that american I thought like the term politically correct...what
normal...who where?
Funny because in my mind autism has so much to do with the hardships of language.
Language absolutely.
Perhaps that is why.

I love you he blurts out and hugs his best friend...
He loves me his friend laughs and the kids laugh too...they are laughing with him at the moment.
Six and seven years old innocent and sweet.
He will be picked up by his friends mother today... for a playdate.
I will fold some laundry and fret at home.

Dabbi my nine year old is visiting a friend. G is his classmate. The play a lot these days. I am autistic G confesses during a video game. Dabbi replies...well I am colour blind. That was that.
No issues. No definitions. just enjoying each others company.
Playing, laughing.

He takes an exam at school.
He is the most fluent reader but his challenge is keeping his attention in place for half an hour and finish that test.
Thirty minutes is an eternity...tick tock...sixty seconds in a minute...sixty seconds... thirty times
It is forever an eternity

Stay tuned child.
Pull your reins, reel in your attention. Stay on task.
Conquer the world
it is yours...

Motivation is a huge issue now...
I have not been myself.
There has been no normal anywhere.
There is no spring...snow keeps drifting from a grey sky and the wind has not lost its bite.

He talks about summer vacation and camping trips all the time and I know he needs a break ...
a different setting to keep pushing the boundaries.
His as well as mine.

Happiness is an inside job, but new settings might help.
Sun would help.
Some chocolate will surely help.

We are both tired.
Trying is hard

I hate final words... I hate words like forever and always and never.
I want fluid, variety, grey scales and possibilities.
I bang my head against the rock in the hope that in the end there will be a dent

I want him to keep those friends that laugh with him.
I want to keep that picture in my mind, this sweet bunch of kids that laughed merely because there was an opportunity to laugh and because they like laughing best of all.

no issues just playing


  1. The innocence of children is just too beautiful. I am sorry that you haven't been yourself, hoping that the sun arrives soon. Chocolate you can get any time! x

  2. hope the sun comes soon
    hope you feel yourself soon
    take a break you will be the stronger for it

  3. yep...its those last few weeks before the break that clutter our life at the moment. But we are getting there :)

  4. I'm getting tired of 'neurotypical', too, and of the people who insist on political correctness. It doesn't have much to do with real life and the way we treat each other. Forgiveness is a nice word...instead of getting angry.

    Let's talk about something else.

    Have you seen the young boy with autism who is 14 years old and a college graduate and very bright? He couldn't slow down, either. Now, I am going to the store to get some chocolate.

  5. Glad you stopped by.
    I have not seen that boy. Go get that chocholate :)