Thursday, August 30, 2012

The first days of school in first grade and a birthday party... on crutches.

Everyone was all smiles and happy vibes. I felt strangely comfortable the first day..
He said goodbye and went with his aide...not even looking back at his mamma.

He still has that plaster on.
Running is almost possible on crutches. Still he manages... he goes forth in long swoops and swings and sometimes I have to run to catch up. He has mastered the crutches big time.
I picked him up just after lunch as we agreed to keep the first day short. He was still happy and still smiling.
"We go back tomorrow" he says matter of factly, as we enter the car.

There is a birthday party invitation in his back pack with a picture of a blond boy posing as soccer player.
I have no idea what to do about it.
Sturla loves birthdays... but can I leave him for two hours in a strange house?
I did in the end.
Nervously I ring that doorbell and a tall blond woman and a trail of young boys  open the door. I think I should accompany him for a while I explain...he is new in the class and he is on crutches I mumble vaguely.
...Lets use those crutches...
Sturla is already speeding up the stairs and I follow ...feeling stupid and superfluous in the party. He enters the room and starts looking at a book. In a while he approaches a boy and says Hi. T what are you doing and sits down beside that boy not really waiting for an answer and starts playing with some things.
I am speechless.
And I decide too take my leave...
A little over an hour later I am back to pick him up and he is beaming with happy...
As we leave he asks the hosts mother the name of her camera and if she has batteries in it.
The camera is called canon and it has batteries.
She is a bit taken aback with him and answers dutifully.
Yup...that is resolved then.
He leaves smiling with a bag of candy which I let him eat in the car even though it is dinner time in an hour.

The second day of school goes smoothly as well.
The third day there is a tiny complaint as the car stops and we are about to enter the school.
He says he does not want to go.

This is all it takes to shatter my confidence.
I take him in my arms and tell him that I will be fetching him soon enough to go home. He needs that touch and melts into my arms for a second and then he hobbles out of the car and into the school. I walk with him to the classroom where his teacher and 19 other fellow students wait and leave him in the hand of his aide.
Today he leaves happily again and I am glad I let him attend that birthday party. He wants so badly to connect.
A word or a smile will make him think he has a new best friend. That is all it takes.
The little friends though become bewildered by him quickly enough and I am terrified that things will take the wrong turn and he will be rejected.
I has only been a few days now.
But this is it.
It will not get easier it will just be a different kind of hard  and every year has new challenges.
I guess I will just bask in the sunny fact that the last days have gone well enough and he is happy.


  1. You made my day. LOVE that the birthday party went so well. I fear I couldn't leave mine at a party, he would run around like crazy. I love to hear that he is making friends. It won't be easy, but he will find that special friend that understands him, I just know it.

  2. So glad to make your day...still I am afraid that making friends is far away. But hoping for the best...:)

  3. This is great news :) It says so much that he was invited to the birthday party and then enjoyed it - lack of invitations was one of the first things that I flagged to the school about my son

  4. Fortunately and sensibly there is a simple school policy on party invitations...everyone or no one. But the good part was that I can let him stay on his own (though I keep the time short) and that he enjoyed himself.

  5. you have summed up perfectly all the hopes, expectations and worries we have as their mothers. I also feel the same way when a birthday invitation comes home with Jack.

    1. Those birthdays are hard they become a symbol of everything else...and so the worries...

  6. you made my day too
    This may be my favorite post of yours
    Its a perfect capture of all the hope the excitement , the anxiety , the disappointment
    Sturla is rocking it
    I always remind myself that I cannot make his life okay .. I can only make it better than it would have been otherwise

    1. Making it better...:)so true
      Sturla is having a good time still and I am so thankful for it.

  7. Oh, this post made me so happy. It sounds like he has taken one of those little leaps we all hope for. I am so happy for you.

    And I loved the pictures of your summer - what a beautiful family!

    Happy fall!

  8. He did take a little leap this summer :)
    Glad to see you drop by.

  9. Wow!! That is awesome! I'm so happy he had a good time at the birthday party, and that he's mostly liking school. Hope his leg heals soon! And hooray for leaps! :)