Friday, May 11, 2012

Rising temperature

My sweet natured boy has been showing some new tendencies and I do not understand the cause.
I wanted him to be more assertive and even yell out from time to time but I do not know where this is going.
He refused to do as his piano teacher said and she is so wonderful and always ready to accommodate.
It has been escalating for a while...he just pounded on the keyboards no matter how we made plans and suggested what marvelous things he would do afterwards. When the time was over (he has only 30 minutes) and he realized we were leaving without him finishing the plan and gaining his privileges (playing on the computer) he lost it I carried him screaming outside and asked my daughter to get our shoes and then went to the car wearing just my socks
I do not understand he likes playing the piano.

( my daughter came because as it is suzuki the parents are supposed to learn as well to play and I just do not get it, not my department and he learns to quickly for me, a matter of great pleasure of course)
On my way out I met an old aquintance with her sweet well behaved daughter and their violin case and she looks at me concerned and with shock on her face, is everything Ok she asks.

(Sorry can not talk now and no nothing is Ok...)

Just fine I say and manage a slightly crumpled smile.

What happened?
Two other tantrums happened the same day.
We fetch his brothers and buy some sweet cookies on the way awesome treat.
I get the idea since it is sunny and his big brother has some very nice playmates for a visit to play games in the garden and eat outside,
...juice and cakes and nice stuff.

They boys run outside a large group... my three and two extra
Sturla makes big deal of not eating in the kitchen...
I am stubborn. I hate rules.
No, we eat in the garden.
Followed by thirty minutes of screaming.
He goes out in the end though but my nerves are frayed.
My mind is fried.

Hubby is working really a lot now and I tackle dinner time and therapy on my own this day. I run to the store and pick up some burgers to make my cubs happy I even buy cider which they love and while I cook they chat with their brother and my daughter keeps them in line and is on the token system. Their goal is to keep Sturla chatting until all the nuts in the bowl go to another bowl.
I am so proud of them how they help and understand and play with him all the time...  day after day...

Sturla is really happy and  playful and the nuts go plink, plonk into the bowl with quite a regular rythm.
Then he decides his hamburger bread is an excellent plaything and starts using it as a character and telling this story
...and the boys laugh... he was hilarious.

Then the bread broke into pieces...
I did not see it, I was cooking and the ketchup was missing and I was just nor reading what happened so I start talking about where the ketchup is and there we go again.
Screaming ...screaming
I can not communicate with him it seems to trigger more screaming.

Half an hour later he ate the burger.
A salty burger with tears.

This is just not as it should be and I can not see the pattern.
Perhaps he is tired these days as the weather gets better and better perhaps I make too many demands perhaps he ...perhaps I...
Perhaps it is growth and he is testing me...I do not know.


  1. Sending you mega gaziliion hugs
    My therapist says that our kids go through their development slowly and so we are now in the terrible threes and since Sturla is younger than my son , its the terrible twos !!!
    What looks like normal 2 year old behavior in a 2 year old ( which mother has not picked up a screaming kicking 2 year old ) looks different in a 7 year old - even though its the same thing
    May hugs

    1. Well this is not our i believe we must figure it out.
      Thanks for the hugs :)

  2. Sometimes the patterns are so hard to see. So hard to see. It can be anything from the weather to the shirt bothering him to the sun hitting his face to the cold he may be getting....I say all that to tell you sometimes you can't find the pattern. And those are the days that are hardest of all. In the meantime I send warm thoughts and hugs from a million miles away, knowing I'm thinking of you encouraging you on your way.

    1. Thank you I am on the figuring stuff with our consultant. Paperwork fun. Hope we get it and fix it.

  3. *hug*

    It's been a long time since I've had to endure a 30 minute long tantrum. To have more than one in a day would be really stressful!!! Hang in there! You're a great mom!

    I love that he was making a character conversation with the bread though and socializing while eating!

    1. Yes the bread character was funny. He is very funny when he gets on a roll.

  4. Meltdowns and tantrums for me are the worst part of autism :( And I'm now thinking that you can often only work out what was going on in hindsight - with my son the appalling year I had last year looks like it was caused by hormones - he is now hitting puberty early. There is also usually a hormone hit earlier at about 7,8 or 9. Could that be part of the answer? Hope you find out soon xx

    1. I do think a part of it is some growth spurt. I am so on the thinking process my brain is cracking.

  5. the worst thing is when we can't figure out just what is bothering our children. That troubles me as well. Just know you're not alone.

  6. I'm so sorry it's been rough lately. It could be so many different things that set him off, it takes great detective work to figure it out sometimes.

    But this will pass. He will grow and his challenges will change. But it will be okay. He will learn and you will learn, and the bumps in the road will eventually be further apart.

    Take deep breaths...

    1. Beahavioral bumps...I look forward to an easier road.