Sunday, May 27, 2012

Happy graduation

My oldest child, my daughter is graduating.
We invite everyone we know and have meant something in our daughters life.
We do not do babtisms or confirmations but this we will do with gusto.
She is and was the funniest kid ever. She was so from the moment she was born.
Nothing ever happened fast enough for her. Walking, talking.
She could climb walls and she was never still, she knew and still can recite countless Disney movies and texts.
She pretended to be a lion for a year at the time hubby was studying in the USA and she did not understand the language so she just growled at people.
She still does occasionally.
Awww what a sweet little girl someone would say and in return she would stretch her neck forward and do this amazing lion growl.
She has always been amazing to me.
She plays the flute and has taught herself to play both piano and guitar and she sings and I firmly believe she can do absolutely anything.
She has no idea what she wants to be.
Perhaps she can sing Disney songs somewhere.
Perhaps she can growl.
I am sure she will do a good job whatever she makes up her mind to do.

Time has gone so fast and she is grown up.
In April she was in car that went off the road during a snow storm...only fifeteen metres and they would have fallen into the sea 200 metres down.
There would have been no more singing.
Luck was on our side.

I want to celebrate your future darling beloved daughter. Your joi de vivre your humor and loudness. Your soft heart and common sense.
I am a lucky mother.

It was a great party with singing and music.The higlight being when the her father sang Mufasa´s song to her I wish I had it recorded.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Random thoughts

Last week I looked out of the window to see tiny white snowflakes drifting down from the sky.
My tulips played dead in the garden....and the green looked trampled and pale.
Vegetation is amazing and a few days later it is as if nothing happened.
The tulips are perky and straight and the leaves grow bigger every day.

I play the behavioral detective still.
But I am just putting out fires.

Be opinonated and yell.
Express yourself. I asked and begged
Be quiet child. Do as I say.
Be both.

Silence and passiveness is behavior too and  I would not go back to that, for anything in the world. For the first time in his life, he goes out alone with his brothers to play. I even let them go down to the sea too look for crabs on their own.
I f anything happens, one of you comes running back and fetch me I say and talk them through all the safety measures I can think of.
You all hold hands when crossing the street and take care of each other and remember to remind your brother to watch out for the cars.

He comes home energetic lively and oh so happy.
We found one he says.
The sleeves on his jacket are a bit wet and his fingers red and cold.

This is growth.

I take our program apart and wonder if I make things too hard for him. I switch over to more nonverbal programs and increase the emphasis on play.
The truth is I am tired and that makes me a bad teacher.

The last days of school are full of little festivities and concerts and the kids have exams.
Eiki is playing on his saxaphone and we take Sturla with us too watch and think nothing of it, he has always been well behaved.
Not now.
He squirms and growls and then it escalates into screaming and I run out of the room. He calms down and I manage to go back just in time too see Eiki perform. Then I run back out as Sturla starts screaming again.
Dabbi will be playing on saturday so...
I will prepare him better.
He will sit through that little concert.
Wish us luck.

My daughter is graduating next week and we are preparing a huge party. I look forward to it and I want it to be grand and it makes me stressed.
This will be about her.

I am thankful I am teaching a really small class at the moment. I can chill a bit at work. My students now are absolute beginners in Icelandic and we take it very slowly focusing on relaxed atmosphere and talking.
I teach immigrant workers, refugees, people that have married Icelanders, that travel to Iceland and some that have some special interest in the land  All sorts of people.
I feel like I meet the whole world in my work. I meet people with no education and also highly educated people from all kind of backgrounds.
It is always interesting and sometimes challenging.

It breaks my isolation keeps me sane and helps me see the bigger picture.

Not everything is about autism all the time.
Sometimes it is just life.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Rising temperature

My sweet natured boy has been showing some new tendencies and I do not understand the cause.
I wanted him to be more assertive and even yell out from time to time but I do not know where this is going.
He refused to do as his piano teacher said and she is so wonderful and always ready to accommodate.
It has been escalating for a while...he just pounded on the keyboards no matter how we made plans and suggested what marvelous things he would do afterwards. When the time was over (he has only 30 minutes) and he realized we were leaving without him finishing the plan and gaining his privileges (playing on the computer) he lost it I carried him screaming outside and asked my daughter to get our shoes and then went to the car wearing just my socks
I do not understand he likes playing the piano.

( my daughter came because as it is suzuki the parents are supposed to learn as well to play and I just do not get it, not my department and he learns to quickly for me, a matter of great pleasure of course)
On my way out I met an old aquintance with her sweet well behaved daughter and their violin case and she looks at me concerned and with shock on her face, is everything Ok she asks.

(Sorry can not talk now and no nothing is Ok...)

Just fine I say and manage a slightly crumpled smile.

What happened?
Two other tantrums happened the same day.
We fetch his brothers and buy some sweet cookies on the way awesome treat.
I get the idea since it is sunny and his big brother has some very nice playmates for a visit to play games in the garden and eat outside,
...juice and cakes and nice stuff.

They boys run outside a large group... my three and two extra
Sturla makes big deal of not eating in the kitchen...
I am stubborn. I hate rules.
No, we eat in the garden.
Followed by thirty minutes of screaming.
He goes out in the end though but my nerves are frayed.
My mind is fried.

Hubby is working really a lot now and I tackle dinner time and therapy on my own this day. I run to the store and pick up some burgers to make my cubs happy I even buy cider which they love and while I cook they chat with their brother and my daughter keeps them in line and is on the token system. Their goal is to keep Sturla chatting until all the nuts in the bowl go to another bowl.
I am so proud of them how they help and understand and play with him all the time...  day after day...

Sturla is really happy and  playful and the nuts go plink, plonk into the bowl with quite a regular rythm.
Then he decides his hamburger bread is an excellent plaything and starts using it as a character and telling this story
...and the boys laugh... he was hilarious.

Then the bread broke into pieces...
I did not see it, I was cooking and the ketchup was missing and I was just nor reading what happened so I start talking about where the ketchup is and there we go again.
Screaming ...screaming
I can not communicate with him it seems to trigger more screaming.

Half an hour later he ate the burger.
A salty burger with tears.

This is just not as it should be and I can not see the pattern.
Perhaps he is tired these days as the weather gets better and better perhaps I make too many demands perhaps he ...perhaps I...
Perhaps it is growth and he is testing me...I do not know.