Sunday, November 20, 2011


I come downstairs this morning.
Do you know who´s birthday it is.
no reply
he is watching tv.
It is M(a boy in his preschool)
no reply...

Still a couple of hours later when we have started our working I ask again.
There is a birthday today.
Do you know who it is.
It is M... he replies

so he heard me...
glad he did
sad he did not reply

So now he is off with hubby...
I bailed
could not stomach this one.... been there before... typical birthdays....
Hope he enjoys heimself and hubby brings home pictures we can talk about.... I just could not handle other peoples eyes today.
The question that hangs in the air
I have no intention of explaining anything to anyone.

I will not deprive him of a social outing he enjoys. Just because of someones looks. So glad there are two of us.
So glad indeed.

Since last winter things have been slow and victories have been far between...
something happened.
I have blamed the play school
still do
now I blame myself as well.
How can he be happy when I am not

The therapist the play school hired quit before she started.
Square one again

Waiting and hoping that someone will like teaching that my boy will get to know him an love him.

It is unacceptable that he does not get his therapy time for three months as has been the our situation.

It is my responsibility to see to that he gets what he needs... and what the others will not do we do at home.

I have no team of ABA therapists marching in and out of my house turned out we could not afford it and even if we could they are as rare as white ravens...
it is just me and hubby... trying to hold it together.
Keep our head above the water.
Pining for progress.
Dreaming of a future.
Trying to remember that happiness is a state of mind.
Or a state somewhere else


  1. I am so sorry! That sounds horrible.

    I just saw your comment, would be happy to help with any programming questions if I can. I'm looking for your email address, can't find it. Email me at and I'll email you back.

  2. many many many hugs
    I do constantly battle with the questions of if we are doing enough
    I was reading " child's journey out of autism" a recovery story and was really wondering why some kids become verbal and talkative and why some kids struggle with their verbal skills so much

  3. So sorry that you guys are at square one yet again! I will keep my fingers crossed that a great loyal hard-working therapist is hired quickly!

  4. I'm so sorry to hear things are going so slowly and that you're back to square one again... I hope things start picking up again soon. **hugs**