Monday, October 3, 2011

Time time and time again

Time is the essence.
I do not have it
I regret every minute I am not focused... I regret the time spent sleeping... eating.
It is madness I know it and accept.
I cannot look him in the eyes and do otherwise.
Wasted time.
I do my work ... teach and come home... and prepare to teach my child.
The dreaded year... six years old..
dreaded because I see his peers walking to school with their schoolbags.
I see them through my kitchen window and look away.
We are still here battling time and lost milestones.
Sorrow is time consuming.
Our battles are long and every victory is hard won.
I will not leave you behind.... I promise you and myself every day.
Regrets are not on my to do list.
Language is.
Eye contact is
Communication is.

Crazy one track mind set... I am like those wind up toys... If I stop hesitate or think I will not get up again.. so on we go ahead ...
every day
one by one
teaspoon by teaspoon
because that is the way to build a mountain and swallow the sea.

We have started using video modeling to teach play skills as well as social skills.
We are still in our infancy with this teching method and making all the material ourselves as there is nothing to buy ready made in Iceland.

He started suzuki school, playing the piano and finally... finally something that comes easy. the boy has rythm he has a sense and an ear for music and he will outperform me in a very short while.
I am a beginner myself, but i do not have the ear the rythm and the sense for it.
I love it. I adore it and I cling to it. The joy of seeing him master something easily
Here he will keep up and most likely outperform his peers.
Someone else will have the catching up to do. Not you.
This time it will not be you.


  1. So happy that he has found something he enjoys. I tried the piano but am tonedeaf so I can't tell whether it's offkey or not, lol! I never did get the hang of it. Hope you both continue learning the piano and in the meantime, are spending quality time together!

  2. I am just DELIGHTED that he has found this pleasure and gift
    You are one dedicated mother you are so awesome