Thursday, October 20, 2011

Happy birthday.

The sixth year has begun and nothing changed...
Six years since that amazing homebirth in the bath tub.
Six years since you were born still wearing your whitish womb gown.
Six years since you came to this world so softly you seemed to be born asleep.
Still you scored ten on your apgars.

There is no Eureka
... or disaster looming.
No bell tolling
no new beginning
it is just a day
an ordinary rainy autumn day

We are just still here.... and there working and working....
The only thing that has changed is that I have stopped fighting my mind.... I am resigned to do this if necessary for the rest of my life.
It takes a lifetime to raise a child anyway...

I am not always easy on you.
I make constant demands.
This is just the way it is going to be....
I am sometimes sorry ...but I will not apologize.
I am determined to make you independant.
Self suficcient
I want you to choose your life.

We are making progress.. I know that.... but more is needed.... oh so very much more indeed.

But this is a day to celebrate progress.
Your reading goes fast... an easy thing to teach.
Drawing skills are amazing you have spatial skills and think in maps... as you draw complex pictures that look like an aerial view. You are a computer wizard mastering any game and toy.
You a have a silly sense of humor and laugh easily. You read my face and are aware when I am sad, mad or happy. You draw facial expressions.
So many strenghts to celebrate.

We went to the store yesterday and you picked out your favorite cereal... the most disgusting sugary stuff you could find..
That is how your birthday began with sugary snowflakes.
You dressed quikcly and without prompts or assistence and you were out of the door before I knew it. Ready to start your day at playschool.
Quick so you could get your reward.

Can I have the ipad in the car.

The ipad works for many things.
A teaching tool a reinforcer and a prised object to use in hide and seek interesting enough to bother too look for.
I intend to milk every drop out of it.
Every single one.

I picked you up and we went to buy cake,
you picked it out at the bakery, you were quite sure it was this one and no other...
and then we went to buy a dvd
you asked for it as birthday present.
Rio the peacock picture.
Quite decidedly.

your thoughts your mind your decisions

last year it took over a week to change the answer to how old are you ... now it was only about ten trials before you answered correctly and consistently.

We are not working much today. I am letting you watch that dvd in peace. Enjoying the peace myself.

There is piano on thursdays...
How is it going? I ask the teacher.
And she gives me what I want...
He is amazing he is already mastering what most kids (typical) or at least some of them master in december and ..... she adds, he started a month later.
I am so happy with the compliment she gives him... I can almost taste it.
I sun myself in the praise...
I beam and I glow with pride.
I am vain...

And I want to cry as well for the hope she gives me.
I constantly think of the future... ten and twenty years ahead.
What will be....
Shifty future...

And when you come home you walk to our old piano and play the piece. You use both hands...
Such very small hands.

What will it hold for you.
green eyed boy

And then I make you work for an hour...
just an hour today...

It is a special day... this rainy autumn day.
Happy birthday.


  1. happy happy happy birthday beautiful green eyed boy
    you are so beloved so hardworking so adorable
    wish you a year of love happiness health and progress

  2. Happy Birthday to your 'lil one! One of my little ones will be seven next month. I thought it was about 20ish years to rear a kid but, at age 26, my big one has returned home. She was one of those really smart kids who excelled in everything when she was younger. It's when she became an adult then things took a turn for the worse. She's still trying to find out where to fit in and how to cope. It might take a lifetime to raise some kids...or much of one anyway...even for those who started off with such bright futures. I love how yours loves the ipad...I find that my kids have issues in the morning, maybe I should use that too (with my smart phone.)