Thursday, May 20, 2010

Accepting the roller coaster ride.

No one said it would be easy. It is not.
No one ever said they would fix it. They can not.
No one promised anything.
Everyone is wary of the word.
As if hope does not belong in the autism world.

As I know before there are just two ways, keep going or give up. The latter is not an option.
So as I climb back on my horse to continue the ride and I promise myself again to laugh more and enjoy my life.
Accept the uncertainty of the future.
The future has never been fixed anyway.
So whats the diff.

I continue where I left off doing what has to be done the right amount of hours in therapy the chores and raising my kids. And if anything is not done well enough it has to be made better. Just like that.
Oh so simple.
Just plod along that road....

As I sort through all those emotions it gives me strength that my feelings are not mine alone they are shared by all the others dealing with the same.
Hope is our fuel.

Hope, reinforces my efforts.
Every progress we make, every little bit my son learns is a drop in my fuel tank. I see progress, sometimes even big strides.
I am greedy and tear at my hair and ask are those strides big enough?
Is progress fast enough? And fast enough for what?
Perhaps it is.
Perhaps not.

It takes a long time to raise a child.

As important as it is to look at the hard facts and the numbers and percentages it is equally important to remember, there is always room for improvement for progress there is a way...

Doctors give little hope and there are endless argument all over the internet. Cure recovery, improvements it is only semantics.

Yes it is a rough ride.
No one lied.

I will soon have a PHD in flexibility a MA in swaying and bending and a doctorate in multitasking.
It is OK.
It is worth it.


  1. It really is totally worth it
    one of the biggest things in terms of acceptance really is the thing you just talked about
    That life is going to be full of hard work
    Did you get a break ?

  2. Ha ha, define break.
    I am still spooning stuff on my plate as i start working next month. Perhaps it will be a kind of a break thinking of other things :) I am pretty sure it will.

  3. It IS worth it, I can do so much for a smile or a hug:) Jen.

  4. you know something strange - work is actually kind of a break for me -
    Its odd that in my lifestage - that the only kind of break I get - is a different set of work

  5. How well I know the greed for more, more, more progress.

    Working (part time) saved my sanity - how much will you be working?

  6. It will be varied. I start with 25% for the summer but it will be more in the fall, but then I take on other assignments doing illustrations and I hope I get some translations.
    Yes a different set of work works as a break :)
    And yes oh yes a smile and a hug makes me jump hoops I will even do a flip bacwards, just ask nicely.