Monday, February 8, 2010

The forty hours challenge and the biggest carrot in the world

Since my son was diagnosed I have been running in circles, already too late like the white rabbit in Alice in wonderland. The clock is ticking and I am always late, late and nothing is enough.
Stressed out and reminding myself that quality is perhaps more important than quantity. But you see, I want both. Because it both matters. Long forty hours of quality. It matters those hours. I see a difference, when the pace is constant. He becomes more alert, quicker in his responses, it makes me greedy.
Every week I promise that I will add a few more minutes. I look over the week schedule and try to add a little more. I would love to have one day a week without therapy, to have quiet quality family time it would do us all some good.
Still not getting there always lacking a few hours.
I start the day at seven getting every one out of the house at eight, walking or by bus and pinching 15 to 30 minutes before play school starts. Adding it up in my mind, counting hours, minutes obsessively. We do a few exercises before we drive to school sometimes we manage a lot other days he is sleepy and groggy and I have to ease him gently into the interaction. Play school is the whole day from nine to four. he gets five hours therapy and two hours reserved for other not less necessary activities like eating and so on.
I use the time at home preparing teaching material reading up on aba dooing some house chores. cooking occasionally and baking for the week. The hours disappear as if by magic I still can not find enough time to start drawing or writing again.
I pick his brothers up from school at two. A couple of hours of private time with my six and seven year old.
I pick Sturla up from school at four.
The rest of the day is a blur. I really need to get in two hours of therapy and make two kids practise their instrument and three do their homework and then there is dinner, reading a story, going to bed and it all has to happen before eight a clock. sometimes someone has to be picked up from somewhere or driven to some activity.
This is the rabbit time.
But children are amazingly adaptive, my other sons know that their brother gets little breaks in between sessions so the themselves fall into his pattern. They study and get their little treats and breaks. They often ask beforehand what they can do in their breaks, some tv or computer time.
The challenge is to be organised, my biggest challenge in life is to be organised. I am slowly learning. You see, my treat is the best and biggest carrot in the world, and I will do just about anything to get it.

1 comment:

  1. How well I know all the feelings you have described
    I really think you are doing a fabulous job
    The trick I find is to get R the 40 hours while also him and us enjoying our lives