Thursday, February 25, 2010

Raving mad snowstorm

That settles it there is no spring for a long time yet. New challenges unfold with every step forward, new stims. New things to learn. New this and new that. Still it is so much better than standing still.
I am not much of a buddhist, aceptance, live in the moment kind of person right now.
Will it be my fault? If we do not succeed.
What is success?
In one way it is truly all about beeing happy and accepting, but on the other hand it is also about work, achievments intellectual growth catching up with peers. Doing everything right. The right therapie and doing that right as well, high quality, massive quantity. Fitting it all neatly around that individual child with those individual needs, respect and cherish. Remembering that I am his mother as well as his teacher.
Is this Bettelheims ghost?
Booing on my window from his grave.

Guilt is a delicate plant.
Water it twice a day.

I think I should go outside and scream a little bit up against the storm.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


The days are getting longer. There was a grey shimmer of light as we got into the car this morning at eight thirty. The garden is full of ravens, they come to town when the cold increases. I met a pack of geese strolling to the next supermarket as I dropped Sturla off to play school. An absurd gathering in the middle of traffick. The orcidea my grandmother gave me for my birthday is blossoming. I look forward to the summer for the first time in two years. For all this time I have wanted to stop time. Please all of you just wait, my son you see has to catch up.
Now the cold winter sun exposes my bad housekeeping and I feel happy.

This is our curriculum at the moment.

Categories: We are practising longer sentences, word recollection and categorising. This is a car, car is a vehicle. And then we are over and out for something else.

First last. Recollection. take this and then that what did you take first? what did you take last.

Statement statement and question is almost done. We need a little practise in answering with more determination and then we are moving over to simple games with peers.
He got porridge this morning. And asked me, do you like porridge. So obviously straight from his curriculum but generalising immediatly.

Forms. Learning names of different form. He has no trouble matching them. Visual strength and all that. Then we go over to letters and numbers.

Things that go together. That was a new idea to him at first. That there is something matchable with feet and socks and a shovel and a bucket et cetere.

Opposites. It was a nice surprise that he already knew so many adjectives. Then there are some that he confuses. Catch and throw for example. we need to keep it age appropriate and relevant to his surroundings.

Pronouns. We are still dooing it simple. What do I have. YOU HAVE....

Drawing. To increase his skills and i really really want to watch him sitting with his brothers at the living room table drawing and showing me. Just like them.

Counting was finished quickly. we stalled a bit teaching him to stop at the right place. When someone says count to three it means to three, not ten and so.

What is for... When he understood what we meant by this, we were almost immediatly able to move over to the spoken version of this program.

I know I am overly optimistic living in Iceland and imagining spring in february. But Today I just cannot help it.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Catching snowflakes on the tongue

Going swimming in the many outdoors pools in our nearest vicinity is our favorite past time. Actually I love it so much that my kids are almost fed up. Everyone but Sturla.
As I worry about what he needs to learn and my dear hubby points out that he actually figures things out for himself too.
I had a fine example of that yesterday.
It was cold, it was past dinner time, it was dark as night and the steam rose from the pool as it started to snow. Not in a nice calm way but in windy bursts.
We floated in the hot tub and I watched Sturla sticking out his tongue trying to catch the snowflakes before they landed in the hot water. Then he looked at me and said. Want to go sledge.
As we dressed he struck up a conversation. I cannot describe it otherwise.
It went:
S: Dive...
me: huh?(as he often speaks unclearly and I had not heard him use that word before)
S: Little slide.. dive...
me: Oh you went on the little slide and you dove.
s: Yes.
And that was that.
Almost. I had him repeat the sentence in a whole phrase using the correct pronouns. Lol.
Always at it...
It was a really good trip to the pool.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Learning from others

This morning I and T went to look at the Aba program delivered in another playschool . We came back brimming with excitement and new ideas. The little boy that was working with his therapist was three months younger than Sturla and a total chatterbox. A year ago he had hardly any words and spun in circles. Just like my Sturla. He has been in therapie for a year now and was doing so great. Commenting asking questions, being cute and using all means to control the situation with his charm. The therapist was both firm and gentle and I was just really impressed.
I can see the road ahead now those two little boys seemed so similar, not only in age but also in their abilities. I know what Sturla has achieved the last six months and I am truly excited to see a glimpse of our next step.
They invited us to come again later and we eagerly accepted. It is essential to see how people are working elsewhere.

Monday, February 8, 2010

the tantalising dream of recovery

The tantalising dream of recovery haunts me every day. I wish I could be sensible about it. I know I am dooing what I can, but perhaps I could do it a little better. Guilt and fear.
Somewhere I ran across a link where the mother stated they where recovering every day tiny little steps, skills, moments, bits and pieces. I wish I could be that clear headed. Acceptance, patience,
At the end of it all what do I want for my child?
I want him to have a choice.

The forty hours challenge and the biggest carrot in the world

Since my son was diagnosed I have been running in circles, already too late like the white rabbit in Alice in wonderland. The clock is ticking and I am always late, late and nothing is enough.
Stressed out and reminding myself that quality is perhaps more important than quantity. But you see, I want both. Because it both matters. Long forty hours of quality. It matters those hours. I see a difference, when the pace is constant. He becomes more alert, quicker in his responses, it makes me greedy.
Every week I promise that I will add a few more minutes. I look over the week schedule and try to add a little more. I would love to have one day a week without therapy, to have quiet quality family time it would do us all some good.
Still not getting there always lacking a few hours.
I start the day at seven getting every one out of the house at eight, walking or by bus and pinching 15 to 30 minutes before play school starts. Adding it up in my mind, counting hours, minutes obsessively. We do a few exercises before we drive to school sometimes we manage a lot other days he is sleepy and groggy and I have to ease him gently into the interaction. Play school is the whole day from nine to four. he gets five hours therapy and two hours reserved for other not less necessary activities like eating and so on.
I use the time at home preparing teaching material reading up on aba dooing some house chores. cooking occasionally and baking for the week. The hours disappear as if by magic I still can not find enough time to start drawing or writing again.
I pick his brothers up from school at two. A couple of hours of private time with my six and seven year old.
I pick Sturla up from school at four.
The rest of the day is a blur. I really need to get in two hours of therapy and make two kids practise their instrument and three do their homework and then there is dinner, reading a story, going to bed and it all has to happen before eight a clock. sometimes someone has to be picked up from somewhere or driven to some activity.
This is the rabbit time.
But children are amazingly adaptive, my other sons know that their brother gets little breaks in between sessions so the themselves fall into his pattern. They study and get their little treats and breaks. They often ask beforehand what they can do in their breaks, some tv or computer time.
The challenge is to be organised, my biggest challenge in life is to be organised. I am slowly learning. You see, my treat is the best and biggest carrot in the world, and I will do just about anything to get it.